There you have it, folks. How to heckle just about every player in the major leagues. Feel free to use this guide throughout the year. If you want to print it out and take it to the ballpark, hey look, there's a downloadable PDF to your right there. Have at it. After all, it's free! And nothing tastes better than free.
'Til next time.
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The Heckler's Prospectus is complete. For a copy of the entire text, head over here. Just remember, I'm not responsible for any reckless sport betting. These are opinions only.
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And please, feel free to continue sending your emails.
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4 comments:
Very nice job, I enjoyed them. Hope to see you continue blogging on baseball.
Alan
I liked it too. Keep up the good work. Maybe your next project can be a parody revolving around an oversensitive douche-bag Red Sox fan who's lame in-bred looks and knuckle dragging accent prevents him from fornicating with animated objects. Good Luck.
You can't quit! The cheap teams are just about to start calling guys up after June 1st to avoid a full season of arbitration money.
When the Redlegs call up Jay Bruce should I yell his name in a stereotypical, lispy effeminate voice "Bruuuuth!" or should I tell him he reminds me of every other promising young player who turned into a star under Dusty Baker, which of course would be no one.
What about new Dodger Clayton Kershaw? Should I make fun of his name sounding like it should belong to a country singer or should I mention the popular youtube video of his insane curveball and compare him to other internet flash-in-the-pan phenomena? Is he the Dwight Yoakam or the "2 Girls 1 Cup" of pitchers?
Ryan Howard was just on TV reading a poem about a Subway sandwich. Should I heckle him about that or stick with your original idea of unfavorably comparing him to Pujols?
The season's only 1/4 of the way done. Everything's been hilarious so far. It's a shame to quit now. At least do some "specials" for the All-Star game and for the September call-ups.
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